So today I tuned into the news to see that a local high school near my area was involved in a school shooting. I instantly had a flashed back of when I was in high school and the times I was bullied. Man did I get the worst of it in sophomore year.
So before I give you the story of my bullying experience I have to give you little background info about myself. I'm not the stereotypical black girl. I was the type in high that spoke proper English. I wasn't crazy about getting my weave done every two weeks. So yes my hair was naturally curly and NAPPY. And yes I'm AFRICAN which makes my situation worst because black and African people don't get along. So basically I'm a nappy headed African kid that doesn't wear name BRAND! Back to the story
I remember being in Mrs. Frazier math class during Christmas and every time during winter I get this really bad cold sore on my nose. So this girl saw the cold sore and started singing Rudolph the red nose reindeer at me. It wasn't just her she had a click of friends in that class who chimed in on it. Every time I walked passed the CLICK they would say "Look at that nappy headed Bitch right there"!!!!! And everybody turns to look at me. I remember riding the bus one i touched my hair and pulled gum and paper out of it. I also remember sitting lunch and this gay guy starting making these weird chimpanzee clicking noises and starting crack African racial jokes. Everybody at the lunch table started to bust out in laughter. I ran out of the cafeteria in tears. After that incident i never at in cafeteria I chose to eat during class or in the library where no one can see me. Within sophomore and junior year I gain about fifty pounds!!! So back to the girl I was talking about. Me and her rode the same bus. One day as she was getting off with her friend she used her and friend used there elbow to knock the back of my head. I looked at them and said "You fat bitches if cant watch where your going without noggin people then it time for you to lose weight"! They heard and couldn't believe what I said. That day I went to my room and prayed I said " Lord it's time for you to vindicate me and if you don't step in I will. I cant take this anymore"! I already told my sister to watch out something might happen tomorrow.
The next as I prepared to go to class I placed a large knife in my pocket and some sewing needles. As I went to my math class before I got a chance to sit down I saw note placed on my desk. It was an apology letter for all the things done to me from the girl and her crew. I touch my lap and realized that I came close to mutilating people that day. I quickly excused myself to bathroom and prayed to God "And said thank You saved me". I went back to my locker to put the knife away and I praised for a second chance. :)
I'm in a great state of mind. I have an awesome career and about to start pharmacy school. I lost some of the weight I gained. When I looked back from where I came from I realized that most of the people that inflicted so much pain on me are either in jail, drug addict, alcoholics or have baby daddy drama. I have forgiven those people because forgiven them sets me free :)
But I wanna tell those who are being bullied to pray that what saved me. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. there are so many bullying support groups you can join to seek help. But most all don't give up.
Feel free to comment and tell me your thoughts
Sincerely your girl
Chinonso Nkwocha
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